A New Story

I have hesitated to write this post.  The main reason I had any reservations is because I didn't want to seem puffed up or holier than thou.  I am just a normal gal.  I am not any more holy than any of my brothers or sisters in Christ.  It is only through the blood of Jesus Christ that washes me clean that I can even be considered holy.  As the apostle Paul said, "What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?" I can totally relate to that!  Even my righteous deeds are as filthy rags before our Holy God.  I finally have decided to share this testimony with you because it is not about me, it is about God.  It is not about building me up, but bringing glory to my Father in heaven. Secondly, I decided to share my story that it might give someone hope and encouragement through my testimony, that if God can transform me, He can transform you.  Hope that if he can take my mess and make something beautiful of it for His kingdom and His purposes he can do the same for you.  Hope that when you intersect your life with the cross of Christ he writes you a new story.  He gives you a new name and a new identity. The Bible says in the book of Acts chapter 10 that God does not show favoritism.  He loves everyone.  This gospel is not just for me and my betterment, but for everyone that might believe on the name of Jesus Christ.

Now that I have made my intentions clear, let’s get on to my story.  A few weeks ago on February 14th, unbeknownst to me my husband along with a dear friend and ministry partner planned to surprise me with ministry ordination.  They had planned it amongst themselves, for other reasons unrelated to me or my abortion story.  At the time, I wasn't really able to process the magnitude of it all.  I don’t do so well with surprises.  Like the time when my husband surprised me with a proposal for marriage.  I was totally speechless.  He looked at me like, “Is that a yes?”  I was so surprised that I didn't even know how to respond.  Sorry, I digress.  After we left and I reflected on everything, I was able to see the deep significance the ordination held in my life.   The reason it was so significant to me was because on February 14, 1996, I had an abortion.  I could see this image in my mind like MD Anderson Cancer Center uses where they put a line striking through the words Cancer. Except mine was the word Abortionist.  The new identity that I saw in my mind was Minister.  It was like God was giving me a new story and memory for that date.  Over the past few weeks I have thought about just how special it was of the Lord to make it official in my history that February 14th is the date of my ministry ordination. I thought of how my life has intersected with the CROSS and how He has completely transformed me.  My old self-serving sin nature is dead and I have been raised up with Christ.  This was a further work of the Lord’s redemption in my life. We serve a mighty and awesome God!  I am in awe of His redemptive power and how he continues to make all things new in my life.  He pleasantly surprises and blesses me more than I could ever think, hope or imagine. It is who He is!  He is LOVE!  How great is the love that the Father has lavished on us that we can be called children of God.  The gift of Christ was exceedingly more than enough and yet he continues to pour out His love and mercy on us.  Thank you Father!  He is worthy to be praised! 

Over the past few weeks, I have also recalled to mind Isaiah 61 and His promises there. I am reminded about when my dear friend prophetically spoke those words to me just a few years ago when I was in the pit of despair.  I don't even have words to tell you how much these verses have ministered to me over the years.  They speak so deeply to the core of my being, each verse speaking so clearly to me.  I am reminded of how he has bestowed on me a crown of beauty for ashes, the oil of gladness for mourning, and how he has given me a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.  I think about the verses that talk about being called an oak of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.  I am then drawn to verse 6, you will be called priests of the Lord, you will be named ministers of our God.  Thank you Lord! Thank you!  All praise and glory and honor belong to you.  You alone are worthy!  There is no other god like you.

Isaiah 61 (NIV)
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,

because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

    to proclaim freedom for the captives

    and release from darkness for the prisoners,

² to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor

    and the day of vengeance of our God,

to comfort all who mourn,

³     and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

to bestow on them a crown of beauty

    instead of ashes,

the oil of joy

    instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise

    instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,

    a planting of the Lord

    for the display of his splendor.

⁴ They will rebuild the ancient ruins

    and restore the places long devastated;

they will renew the ruined cities

    that have been devastated for generations.

⁵ Strangers will shepherd your flocks;

    foreigners will work your fields and vineyards.

⁶ And you will be called priests of the Lord,

    you will be named ministers of our God.

You will feed on the wealth of nations,

    and in their riches you will boast.

⁷ Instead of your shame

    you will receive a double portion,

and instead of disgrace

    you will rejoice in your inheritance.

And so you will inherit a double portion in your land,

    and everlasting joy will be yours.

⁸ “For I, the Lord, love justice;

    I hate robbery and wrongdoing.

In my faithfulness I will reward my people

    and make an everlasting covenant with them.

⁹ Their descendants will be known among the nations

    and their offspring among the peoples.

All who see them will acknowledge

    that they are a people the Lord has blessed.”

¹⁰ I delight greatly in the Lord;

    my soul rejoices in my God.

For he has clothed me with garments of salvation

    and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness,

as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,

    and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.

¹¹ For as the soil makes the sprout come up

    and a garden causes seeds to grow,

so the Sovereign Lord will make righteousness

    and praise spring up before all nations.

Some might ask, "So what does this change or mean now?" To which I would answer: on one hand, absolutely nothing.  I will continue to serve faithfully in post abortion ministry as I have been doing, but on the other hand it changes EVERYTHING.  I look forward with great expectation to how God will continue to use me in this ministry.  I don't know quite what he has in mind, but I am excited to see where he leads me.  I am hopeful that he will continue to draw women to me that need to hear my story.  This is my prayer.  The best is yet to come!

Some pictures of the Ordination Ceremony with Pastor Boyd Harrell of COOL Ministries, Inc.