A Ticket to Paradise

At the age of 18, there was a series of events that led me to begin to seek God.  I wish I could say that my last post was the end of my lifestyle of sin, but unfortunately it wasn't.   I continued down the same destructive path and I eventually found myself in some pretty heavy sin. I was doing things I had told myself I would never do.  While this is going on, I confide in my now husband who is my best guy friend at the time, and he confirms what I was feeling about that sin. He tells me that what I'm doing is wrong and I don't remember what else because truthfully, I didn't want to hear it.  Mostly, because I was having fun.  One morning after a night of wild partying, I came to my senses.  I felt the conviction of God for that specific sin.  I recognized that it needed to stop. So I made a deal with God. I asked him to forgive me, and in return I would stop that sin that He convicted me of.  After I finished praying I had peace, and I felt God's forgiveness.  I am truly remorseful and repentant for those choices.

Like the prodigal son in the Bible that came to his senses, that's what happened to me.  I didn't totally return to my Father God at that point, but it was a step in the right direction. Similar to Jesus' parable in Luke 15:20,  "But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him..."  While I was still a far way off my Father saw me and had compassion on me.

If you're entangled in a life of sin, it's not too late and you haven't done so much that you can't go to God.  The Bible says in Romans 3:23, all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Romans 3:12 says, ...no one is good, not even one. The devil the enemy of your soul would love for you to believe that you're not good enough, or that you've done so much, or that God doesn't love you. Those are all lies and couldn't be further from the truth.

About two weeks later it was Y2K and there was all this hype about the end of civilization as we knew it.  By this time my friendship with my now husband, Nicco, begins to blossom into something more.  We had gone to Austin to ring in the new year, and we were returning home on new years day.  I used to drive this little red 300ZX.  We're driving home and I see this car coming into my lane.  I veer to the left shoulder a little to avoid hitting the other car, and my car begins to spin out of control.  We do a couple 360's across the lanes of traffic, and I'm screaming something along the lines of, "WE'RE GONNA DIE!"  My car nosedives into the ditch and we flip over. Some other drivers that saw the accident stopped and ran to us thinking we were dead.  But miraculously, neither of us had a scratch on us.  Nicco wasn't wearing a seat belt either. Shame on him!  You would have thought that would have gotten my attention, but to be honest, I think I was more upset about my car. 

Nine days later, since I was carless, Nicco came and picked me up from work and was driving me home when he ran a yellow light and another driver took an unprotected left at a light.  The two cars collide, and the impact was hard. The air gets knocked right out of me, and I can't breath for what felt like at least a minute.  During that time, I feel like I'm dying.  My life kinda passed before my eyes. I black out for a second and then I was in a daze.  When I finally gain my breath I'm in so much physical pain, I can't move.  The ambulance comes, and they rush me to the hospital.  They called my parents and my mom rushes to the hospital also.  When she arrives, I'm laying in a hospital gurney in the middle of a hallway. The nurses tell my mom that I probably just have bruised ribs. I knew that wasn't true. I told her, I didn't know what was wrong with me, but I knew it was more than just bruising.  The pain I was feeling caused me to begin to pray. I didn't know God really, but as a kid I had a bicycle accident and a stranger prayed over me and almost immediately the pain ceased.  I remember thinking, "Wow, this lady has some connections with God." So when I was in this dire pain, I decided to ask God for help.  I didn't miraculously have the pain stop like when that kind lady prayed for me, but I began to feel some relief.  It turned out that I had a broken clavicle, two broken ribs and my spleen was punctured.   We prayed for my spleen to heal and it did, thankfully. My accident and recovery had a profound impact on me and caused me to reevaluate the way I was living my life. 

Some months pass and I begin feeling like I need to strengthen my relationship with God. I was raised catholic, so that seemed like a natural place to start. Catholicism for me was more something I was born into. Growing up catholic I always believed Jesus died for our sins, but I had never really made him personal to me.  I believed in him, but I didn't know him or have a relationship with him.  I decide I want to do my confirmation, and I ask my mom to check with our church.  The coordinator of the classes at our church tells my mom that they don't have a class for me because I was older and generally that is something you do during high school.  She suggests, I check at another church.  At the time I kind of felt like, here I am trying to strengthen my relationship with God, and my church doesn't have a place for me.  It felt a bit unwelcoming. 

Close to this time Nicco starts going to a nondenominational church called PowerHouse; by Gods intervention of course, and he starts inviting me to go also. I went and it was waaay out of my comfort zone.  To be totally honest, it was a bit scary at first, mostly because all I had ever known was the catholic church, and it was so different from that.  It was more charismatic and not at all like what I was used to.  I felt like there had to be something in between. I did feel something different about this church though. It welcomed me in a way the world never had. Everyone was so nice and friendly and welcoming.  I even had this nice woman come up to me and invite me to a Bible study at her house. I was blown away that this complete stranger was inviting me to her home.  Even though that impacted me, I still was not sold on the church.  We visited a few other churches trying to find a middle ground.

Then one night, Nicco invites me to a play that they are having at PowerHouse, and I agree to go.  It was September 24, 2000 and the play was called, The Glory and The Fire.  There was one part in the play that particularly spoke to me; it was taken from Matthew 7.  It was about some people that claimed to be religious and Jesus tells them, "depart from me, I never knew you."  I knew that was me. I didn't know Jesus. I knew of him, but I didn't really know him. I knew I wasn't right with God and I wanted to be. So I headed for the alter. I wanted to be right with him, and I wanted to know him.  I confessed my sins and asked Christ to come into my heart that night at the alter.  Afterwards, I went to a room so someone could pray with and for me.  Wouldn't you know, that same nice lady that invited me to her house for the Bible study wound up being my prayer partner.  She invited Nicco and I to her house again and we agreed.  I felt the love of Jesus in her.

 

The Tickets to, The Glory and The Fire from the night I gave my life to Christ. 
My sweet husband saved them all these years. 

 

Let me just say, her Bible study was more like a fast track  Christian  boot camp, for this  new Christian. Not that it had any crazy drills or anything like that, but it was intense.  The people in the group were mighty and strong in their faith. The leaders were so welcoming and their zeal for the Lord was contagious. There was a sweet elderly couple probably in their 80's at that time.  They were one of my favorites. I loved to hear the old man's stories and how much he dearly loved his wife.  There was an evangelist, encourager, and prophet wrapped into one. He was a firecracker for God.  They all seemed to be prayer warriors, but there was this one lady that stood out from the others.  I had never heard anyone pray like that in my entire life.  This was one dynamic Holy Spirit filled group! Even their dog seemed to be filled with the Spirit, if that's even possible.  God taught me a lot in that group. He taught me through them His love, who He is and who He isn't, to trust in Him, scripture, how to pray, and giving and caring for the needs of others; just to name a few.  The people in that group loved like I had never experienced before. They had such a genuine care and concern for others.  I can tell you story after story of ways they blessed me and helped me to grow in my walk with Christ.

On that night that I gave my life to Christ, there was an exchange.  I accepted Christ's sacrifice to pay the penalty that was due me for my sins.  At that point of repentance and acceptance of Him, I was totally and completely forgiven for my abortion and for all my sins.  I felt like a new person! I felt a new inexpressible joy and peace. There was some things in my life that God instantly delivered me of and then there was other things that were a sanctification process that took more time.

 

Almost one month later to the day, Nicco gifts me with my very first Bible.  I will always treasure it. It's by far the best gift I've ever been given.  He put life and truth into my hands and heart.

 

My Precious Bible

 

 

 

After some time, Nicco and I feel called student ministry.  I always told myself that if the opportunity ever arose for me to tell my story about my abortion, that if I felt I could somehow help someone with it, that I would.  But, the opportunity never presented itself.  I believe now that's because I wasn't ready. I didn't have healing in it myself and God needed to do some work in me before I was able to offer hope to others. 

I also later asked Gods forgiveness specifically for my abortion and asked him to help me forgive my parents for the part they played in my abortion.  While I knew I was forgiven I still had a lot of emotional hurt and pain from my abortion that I had not dealt with.  I had pushed my abortion and all the emotions that went with it down to the deepest crevices of my heart and I locked the door and threw away the key.  There was a part of me that didn't want to deal with it because it was too painful.  There was also a part of me that desperately wanted healing but didn't know how to get it.  Next time I'll share with you how God led me down a path to healing.

I would like to take this opportunity since I just shared how I came to saving faith in Jesus Christ to offer that same gift to you. If you're not living your life for God and you want to; or maybe you're like I was that I believed in Jesus sacrifice for sins on the cross but you have never made it personal; or maybe you know you're not right with God and you want to be:

 

Romans 10:9-10 says, That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.  For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.   

 

You can pray this prayer or one like it; how ever you feel led:

Jesus, I know I am a sinner. Please forgive me of my sins.  Come into my heart. I want to live my life for you. I want to know you. I want you to be the Lord of my life.

 

If you prayed that prayer for the first time or if you rededicated your life to Christ I encourage you please tell someone that you know is a Christian so they can pray for you and encourage you to grow in your walk with Christ. I would love the privilege of praying for you also.  So if you would like to, please contact me.  I also encourage you to get involved in a Bible believing church. Lastly and most importantly, I encourage you to pray and read the Bible. Those are the two most important things you can do to grow in your walk with Christ.